Many women are taught to abandon their softness in order to be taken seriously. But what if your emotional depth is your greatest strength? In this post, I’m sharing my journey from people-pleasing to power—and how reclaiming soft strength transformed my life.
Anchoring Into Your Inner Power: A Personal Journey
So many of us have been taught that strength means hardening, silencing, or shrinking. But there’s another way. Below, I share how I’ve been healing through softness, learning to trust my voice, and finding inner peace while navigating life as a woman and solo mother.
Section 1: The Power You Forgot
When did you first feel like your softness or sensitivity was “too much”?
As a child I remember being told this often as I would feel things deeply, often resulting in tears. I learnt to internalize my emotions when possible while upkeeping the “good girl” I was, to perform in a way that would receive praise—but cut me off from my own personal connection.
What messages did you absorb growing up about being strong, emotional, feminine, or capable?
Growing up I heard the narrative of ‘oh women are just so emotional,’ where I internalized that to be a negative thing. Society feeds us lies that women aren’t as capable as men because men are masculine, strong, powerful. In ways, I absorbed that women could be strong or capable only through beauty or how they presented themselves. But what if you don’t fit into that? What does that mean for me? I felt like I couldn’t identify with it. I would take notice of the women around me, and I viewed their strength and capability.
What are some things you used to believe about your worth or strength that no longer feel true?
I used to believe that others had to see me and my worth first before it was valid. As a lifelong people-pleaser, this belief was deeply ingrained. It took a lot of self-assurance practice and pulling my energy and thoughts away from others to become more self-focused. I used to think being “selfish” was a negative trait because as women we are conditioned to serve, to give. But now I know what matters to me and how I feel absolutely does matter.
Section 2: The Woman You Are (and Always Were)
What are some of the most powerful things you’ve done — even if they looked small from the outside?
After responding from a reactive mindset for so long when I would feel triggered or upset, I learned to pause. I stopped reaching for external validation and approval. I started asking, “How do I want to respond to this? Do I want to give my power away with a reaction?” Choosing to pause has been a quiet process—but the most powerful of all. It changed how I view myself, strengthened my self-trust, and deepened my self-belief. I learned that my energy is valuable, and that I had been contributing to my own depletion. This truth was confronting, but deeply empowering.
What do you now see as your strength, even if it’s not what the world usually celebrates?
Kindness, empathy, and boundaries. The ability to hold space for myself and protect my peace, values, and beliefs. Learning to do this has strengthened my voice and helped me embody my truth.
How has anchoring into yourself changed how you respond to challenges?
It has allowed me to navigate parenting, co-parenting, and relationships with more clarity. Old triggers still show up, but I can now feel that reaction in my body and pause. Anchoring has helped me choose differently. When dealing with people who thrive on getting a rise out of you, the most powerful thing you can do is respond without emotional energy. Learning to regulate has made that possible.
Section 3: Anchored, Not Hardened
What does it mean to stay soft and open, even after everything you’ve carried?
It means acceptance. Acceptance of the life I’ve lived and the version of myself I’ve had to become to survive. It means seeing myself through compassionate eyes and acknowledging the strength it takes to parent three children while reparenting myself. It’s holding understanding for myself when things feel overwhelming, and creating room to soften.
How do you practice strength and gentleness at the same time?
By honouring myself and walking forward, one step at a time. I’ve released the pressure of perfection and chosen to be present. Each choice I make counts. Even the invisible ones.
What does living with inner power look like for you now?
It looks like security, confidence, and empowerment in who I am. Not who I thought I had to be, or who others saw me as. Living in my inner power is about pouring into my energy and respecting it. It’s listening to what I need each day, in the ebb and flow of life, in sync with my cycle and my season.
Connection is our power as women. Remaining soft and open in our hearts while carrying the weight of many—often on our own—is a quiet kind of magic. Our capacity to hold responsibility with grace, understanding, patience, and kindness is remarkable. How powerful is that? Despite what we’ve been conditioned to believe, walking against the grain to embody this peace is something no one can take from you—unless you choose to give it away.
Section 4: A Note for the Woman Reading This
If someone reading this felt broken or not enough, what would you want her to know?
That you are whole as you are. You were born enough. Society tries to convince us our worth is something we must earn—but it’s not. The more you remember that, the more you will open to self-compassion and expansion. Whatever you’re seeking outside yourself can begin with how you love and support you.
What truth do you wish more women knew about their inner power?
Everything you desire is already within you. It might not feel true at first, but it is. You don’t need to chase it—you need to remember it. And learn to feel it in your body.
What would you say to the version of you who hadn’t yet started healing?
I would sit with her and hold her. After she softens, I would remind her she’s doing better than she thinks. I would encourage her to trust the feeling that life has more to offer—and to keep going.
Ready to Reclaim Your Power?
Begin with my free EFT tapping scripts for emotional regulation and anxiety relief — a gentle place to start anchoring back into yourself.
You might also enjoy this related post: Tapping for Anxiety: What It Really Looks Like for Me
If this post spoke to your heart, share it with someone who might need it too. You deserve to live gently in your strength.
She Who Anchors